People have such varied perceptions of pole dancing. Even though more and more people are realizing the variety of styles and modalities of it and how it is so much more than its stripping variation, there are some serious stigmas attached to it. Sadly so. Pole dancing ranges from sexual and erotic to classy, sporty, artistic, and more. I have been learning pole dancing for about 3 years in a dance school in Amsterdam. I believe it takes big part in my transformation over the past few years. I want to talk about how pole dancing helps you develop your femininity, confidence, charm and a whole new relationship with and perception of your body.
It is for everyone
I had my first pole dancing class when I had just turned 30, as a little birthday present for myself. In that first level of beginners class the first move we were told to practice was going upside down on the pole. Needless to say, I rolled my eyes. I did not expect such a rapid turn of events, but with instructor’s help it actually did happen for me. It gets easier with time, as you finally begin grasping the basics of controlling your movement force, grip, and shape.
For some people it goes very fast and easy, especially if you have some sportive background. For less athletic ones, as I was back in the day, it was a bit of a challenge, but I am so glad I kept going. My number one advice is not getting intimidated by the varied capabilities, experiences and physique of people surrounding you in your class or dance school. We all have our own starting points, and you will be amazed by your progress with frequent consequent training, and that’s all that matters.
Open mind needed for progress
If you are considering giving pole dancing a try, first of all, be ready to work on your open mind, most importantly, in terms of your own capabilities. Just like any physical activity your mindset is what can limit you or accelerate your achievements and progress. In my school teachers don’t usually take no for an answer, and if you are not succeeding in getting the move done, you are expected to keep trying.
It goes like this. I remember when I was trying to learn the chair pose, where you spin around the pole in a pose resembling you sitting on a chair. I have been trying to understand the motion that would get me to spin around, and it took me several weeks. I could not quite get it, just kept trying and trying. One day I came into class, went for a spin again, expecting another day of struggle, and suddenly it just worked. That’s how pole dancing actually works with many complicated moves, in my experience, just failure, failure, failure, and then sudden out of nowhere success. Of course for some moves it is also just a steady improvement, in how pretty your shape is, for example.
I believe that pole dancing can transform your perception of self and help you explore yourself in whole new ways. First of all, it just enables your femininity, grace, and sensuality to blossom. Whether you do exotic pole dancing (with pleaser heels) or a more sporty variation where you make beautiful powerful shapes and moves on and around the pole. It just does something to you, seeing yourself doing these tricks and just moving in this flowy way. Pole dancing is designed to accentuate the shape of a female body, our gentle, sensual, flexible and smooth nature. So learning pole dancing, you are sort of able to bring those parts of yourself to surface, to light, and into your every day life.
I am convinced, it can change the way you dress, walk, talk, everything. It amplifies your confidence, love and respect for yourself, as you observe your achievements and growth. Any athleticism has similar effect, but here it is also about learning to discover your feminine charm and translate it into a dance. Pole dancing can be just mesmerizing.
I remember when I just started dancing and saw all the girls posting videos of themselves, I could not even imagine me ever recording myself dancing and having it worth showing to anyone else. This thought felt impossible. And within a year or so, it has become such a regular thing for me, and I love watching my videos. Sometimes it even takes me a minute to recognize it is really me. I really feel like this dancing is transforming you into some stronger, more magical and in control version of yourself. And this progress is accelerating so fast!
Let’s not omit the impact of pole dancing on your dating life. It certainly adds to your attractiveness and your love life with your partner.
It is also amazing in controlling weight. I find it the most pleasant and fun cardio there is. I enjoy the classes so much, yet it is a very intense physical activity at the same time. Pole dancing struggle just hits different, I find it so much milder. It is dancing after all, and dancing is always fun.
To progress faster remember this
There are really just some basics that you need to focus on to make your pole dancing look pretty (which I’d say is the biggest challenge for beginners). With time you will recognize those elements. It is all in the details. But most importantly, it is in the energy you put into your session. If you come into class in a beautiful swan energy, your moves will look beautiful. It is so important to connect to that vibration and essence of yours. On days that you fall out of it, it is just completely different look and feel of your dancing: your moves won’t feel flowy, but constrained and unnatural.
Feeling yourself is everything here. And if you don’t feel like a beautiful swan, pretend you do. It always works magic in life. We call it pretending but really we are just exercising the power of our mind to shift who and how we are. So can you be a pole dancer too? Absolutely. And the more of your open mind, excitement, and time you dedicate to it the more it will amaze you how much you are capable of and what different sides of you exist.
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Photo: David Hofmann via Unsplash