When we meet someone and that connection is just perfect it can feel like the stars are in alignment and the whole world is in order. That connection is so vitally important for the health of your relationship and over time, it grows and changes as we do. The connection I felt when I met my husband is the strongest feeling I have ever had and I can happily say, 4 years later we still have a deep connection. It didn’t just stay this way, though: keeping “the spark” takes work and a daily commitment. It also takes self-love, self-confidence, and openness to new ideas and experiences.
Here are 5 easy ways to keep the connection sizzling:
1. Schedule a date night every week– Whether it’s experiencing a new restaurant or the latest action flick, make sure to carve out quality time to spend with your partner every week. You can even incorporate activities such as working out together or making dinner into date time ideas. Even a long walk after dinner can count as a mini-date–and one that doesn’t cost anything. It really doesn’t matter what you do as long as you commit to spending time with your partner.
2. Create romance everyday- It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. For example, tell your partner that he or she looks beautiful or handsome. Make sure you tell your partner that you love them when they leave for the day. My husband and I always make it a point to see each other off in the morning and always greet each other at the door when one of us comes home.
3. Stay in touch throughout the day- Send texts or give your partner a call during the day to see how his or her day is. For example, My husband will call or send a text to see how I’m doing. If calling or texting isn’t possible, you can always sneak little love notes into his or her purse, wallet, or lunch bag.
4. Appreciate the little things- This is a good exercise: Everyday for one week, list one thing your partner does for you. Simply appreciating little everyday acts can create a powerful connection to the one you love. It can also help you focus on what you value about your loved one instead of focusing on their faults.
5. Stay present- When your partner is talking to you, make sure to stay focused and present in the moment. Nothing will make your partner feel disconnected faster than if he or she thinks you aren’t paying attention when he or she is speaking to you. This means no fidgeting with your phone at the dinner table, or watching TV out of the corner of your eye when s/he is telling you about problems at work. Giving yourself completely to your partner at any given moment is one of the most romantic gestures you can offer.
What are some simple ways you stay connected to your partner?
Also see: Life with an Omnivore
Also by Krystle: My First Year of Marriage
Photo: John Ashburn via Flickr; Waithamai via Flickr