Thanks to technology, dating apps, and newfound norms, there has been a shift in the dating culture. In our current dating age, there are no rules. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. After rejoining the dating realm after a love detox, I’ve noticed that the dating game has seriously changed–and maybe not for the better.
Between the apps and mixed messages people are throwing around, I am having trouble keeping up. Netflix and chill? Come on now, I deserve more than that on a first date. I’m a pretty modern woman; however, I believe there should still be some standards.
Back in the day there used to be a customary courtship and predestined road map to a relationship. Naturally, some of those ideologies are still imprinted on our minds, molding the expectations we have of a potential mate. We are made to believe that we have to have a waiting period to call, there needs to be a maximum number of dates before you get physical, and you absolutely can’t talk about your feelings. However, that is all irrelevant now, and it really comes down to a case-by-case situation. Although the change in norms can be confusing, there is another major factor that has corrupted the dating scene…technology.
Technology has created this whole new level of dating, and honestly, it can be downright frustrating at times. It speeds things up yet can stall a potentially amazing relationship. I have seen engagements come out of Tinder but have also seen and experienced complete disrespect and aloofness. I am somewhat biased on dating via dating app; although wary, I see the potential. I have vibed with people in the flesh and have equally made connections with people through dating apps, but I’ve also seen relationships end before they even began. So what gives?
The truth is we have more choices than we have ever had before. Before the dating websites took over, we used to take dating more seriously, nurturing new relationships and investing more of ourselves. Now, someone gets bored or needs instant gratification, so they swipe right until they fill some void. This, among other things, has created a lack of commitment and a fear of settling down. Additionally, due to the consumer mindset adopted by many singles, individuals often forget that real human emotions are involved. Hiding behind our screens, we have lost a bit of ourselves. People seemed to have lost respect for others and their own human decency along the way.
In reality, dating really shouldn’t be this difficult. So what does one need to do to survive this new age of dating? Through my dating experiences, especially the blunders, I have had a few epiphanies. Here are some key tips on surviving the new age of dating.
How to Survive the New Age of Dating
1. Know what you want. A lot of people guard their emotions by agreeing to dating situations they aren’t quite comfortable with including friends with benefits, open relationships, or casual dating. I’m not saying there needs to be a label on everything, but it’s important to be completely clear on what you want. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’re not helping yourself out if you settle for being someone’s booty call. Furthermore, know what you want in a partner. I really don’t have time for man babies, bad energy, or narcissism. Through trial and error, and quite a few bad dates, I have a good idea of what I want now. You owe it to yourself to have high-quality relationships.
2. Communicate. Whether it’s a new relationship or a few months in, communication is key. People have gotten lazy in this area. Even with our phones constantly glued to our hands, we fail to respond to texts let alone call someone. I believe if you’re into someone, message and call them. There is no better way to foster the relationship. If someone isn’t making the time to effectively communicate with you, then they aren’t worth your time.
3. Be honest. So many people struggle with being honest due to the fact that they don’t want to hurt the other person. This whole new ghosting trend that has been taking over the dating scene is immature and cowardly. If you don’t see the relationship progressing any further, you owe it to the other person to tell them instead of silently disappearing.
4. Know your self-worth and limits. Before establishing a relationship, it’s important to know how worthy you are and what you deserve. You need to set boundaries for yourself and know when to call it quits when someone is manipulating or taking advantage of you. I’m an understanding person, but there are only so many times of being blown off that I have to bow out and let go. Remember, the beginning stages of dating should be easy and carefree, not stressful.
5. Remember that nothing beats human connection. It’s time to put down the phone and get back out in the real world. There’s only so much energy and authenticity that can be revealed over the phone. One of the best ways to see if you’re compatible with someone is to spend time together, naturally letting the relationship grow.
What are your tips for surviving the new age of dating? Any interesting dating experiences or important lessons you’d care to share?
Also by Jess: Yoga for Love and Self-Empowerment
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