Balance, Wellness

4 Essential Rules I Learned From My Years Of Dating In NYC

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dating tips for finding your loveI’ll say it: being single sucks. I’ll say it for the people happily in relationships, for the people who can honestly admit to it, and for your single friends who pretend to love it but secretly loathe it. I love that I get to share my life with someone I truly care about – to cook with, to sleep with, and to watch shitty Netflix with. Admitting that you hate being single doesn’t make you desperate – it makes you sure of what you want in life. However, before you change your relationship status on Facebook, you’ll have to go through those dreadful dates that may potentially be nothing.

When many of my dates ended horrifically wrong, I turned to Google and weird Internet dating advice to find my solution. Here IS my solution: don’t trust the Internet. Go with what you feel is right. I’ve had my fair share of horrible first dates and here are the dating tips that worked for me:

Tip 1: Nothing good comes out of staying at a bar past midnight, so go home if you want to. By midnight, I am fighting off sleep and more than likely babysitting my drink (gin & club with a lime, please). The only people who will approach you at a bar past midnight are drunk guys who probably can’t even see straight with only one goal in mind. This guy will 100% not be calling you the next day – if he even remembers your name.

Tip 2: Stay in when you want to. I used to have some serious FOMO and would drag myself out at any invite – not anymore. Not every social gathering has to end in you meeting a man. Staying in enjoying your own company and taking care of yourself is essential to being the best you, you can be which in turn will benefit every other aspect of your life. My couch and Netflix need me, too. Before going out, I think to myself, do I really want to go out or will I be begging for my bed in twenty minutes? More than likely it’s always the latter.

Tip 3: Don’t play the texting game. It doesn’t matter who texts who first or how much time is in between each text. Shout out to my friends that make me hold their phone for X minutes before they can respond to said text – this tip is for you. Honestly, I text back really fast and I always double text. I have way too many thoughts racing in my mind that they can’t all go into one text. So much self-doubt and anxiety has come from waiting for him to text me first that I simply will not put myself through that anymore – if I have something to say, I’ll say it first.

Tip 4: If you know what it is that you want, don’t settle. If your ultimate goal is a relationship instead of casual hookups, let it be known; maybe not the first or second date, but sooner rather than later. I’ve thought to myself, if I stick around long enough, maybe he’ll want something. It doesn’t work that way and it hurts more in the end the longer you wait it out.

We’re all lost in this silly little game and maybe my dating tips won’t always work and the best thing you can do is go with your gut. For myself, I’ve found that honesty is the best policy.

I was upfront about what I wanted, honest, and true to myself and now I’m going through this rollercoaster life with the man of my dreams. Hopefully you will too.

What are some dating tips you’ve learned over the years? 

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Photo: Felix Russell-Saw on Unsplash

Lipsa Shah

Lipsa Shah

Contributor at Peaceful Dumpling
Lipsa is an avid reader, yogi, and explorer. When she isn't busy exploring new parts of the world, you can find her at peace in her apartment with a book or mesmerized by true crime documentaries. You can follow her adventures on Instagram @lipsaaaaa.
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