Balance, Wellness

5 Celeb Astrologers Who Are Eerily Spot-On–And Will Give You Major Clarity & Inspo

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Astrology can get a bad rap as fake science. These leading ladies prove our place in the universe IS important.

With the recent, spectacular solar eclipse that streaked across America, it seems like everyone has had their eyes focused on the cosmos a little more than usual. But if you’ve been keeping up with the interweb’s trending hashtags, you’ll have noticed #astrology and #astrologer for a while now. Although I tend to be resistant to thinking of my life as anything but 100 percent in my control, I confess that the more I’ve read my horoscope, the better I’ve felt about a whole lot of things: a major life and career change that was a complete 180 from my typical blinders-on mentality; the radical upending of our country’s democratic institutions; the endless stream of negative media purporting the end of truth (wtf?); why sometimes it seems like I just can’t get what I mean across to anyone in a clear and understandable fashion (hello, Mercury retrograde)—you get the picture. If you’re likewise curious about the fault (and favor!) that does, in fact, sometimes lie in our stars rather than ourselves, check out these star astrologers whose newsletters might make your inbox your new happy place.

Madame Clairvoyant (The Cut)

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Claire Comstock-Gay, the wizardess behind “Madame Clairvoyant,” is an elusive being. Nary a photo of her exists, which makes the charming collages that accompany her weekly horoscopes on New York magazine’s digital platform, The Cut, even more deliciously intriguing. The hodgepodge of etherial feminine figures channels in a way a splintering of the cosmos into each of our respective signs, and the appropriately vague quality of her pronouncements follows suit. La Madame tends to be more soul-searching than driven in her write-ups; you won’t find the stereotypical lines like “this week you’ll find great success at work.” Rather, you’ll find tried-and-true reminders of your own bounty that nonetheless seem to speak to *exactly* the thing bugging you at the moment. I.e.,

It’s possible to work magic on your own body, on your own self, on your very vision of yourself and the world. It’s possible to wear shapes and colors that will let you imagine yourself as someone else, someone graceful or bold or brave, someone less in thrall of a world as violent as this one. It’s possible to reach somewhere strange and deep inside your own thoughts to turn them around, to shake life back into them, to start loving this world truly again.

Sound advice from one anti-trender to another.

The AstroTwins (Refinery29)

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In keeping with their site’s spirit, the astrology gurus at Refinery29 offer loads of advice pertaining to love, fashion, wealth–everything a modern, cool girl aspires to master. Besides the Twins, various contributors supplement their horoscopes with star-adjacent commentaries as aligning as the horoscopes themselves, covering topics like gender and sister-love/hate. I love reading these weekly missives because of their balance of compassion and direction. Usually they feature key dates, but not in a lotto-winning vibe–just periods during which to be extra mindful–along with wisdom in a variety of areas from socializing to health. And no matter what the stars have in store for you, you can delight in the whimsical decoupage profile pics. (Tip: Click on the “view all slides” screen at the beginning of each post to fast forward to your sign.)

Chani Nicholas

chani-nicholas_astrologerI had a deep post-election dinner with a writer friend of mine where we very seriously plotted her desired-for escape to Spain, after which she would become a nomad hopping across Europe and East Asia teaching and writing and being off the grid. Chani’s name came up as something we could turn to in the meantime, as a way to make sense of our messed up reality. And boy, does she deliver. With a full menu of online workshops plus the “weekly love notes” she sends to your inbox with updates, Chani has earned her stripes being in the field for over 20 years. Her horoscopes can read fairly technical, with a full list of planetary positions starting each one, but she balances that precision with love and gentleness. Besides offering sign-specific advice, she speaks to all of us mere mortals with guidance for every week’s particular cosmic lineup. She’s a fox and a hedgehog–and a moon goddess–all rolled up into one.

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Chani’s advice during a recent Mercury retrograde: solid.

Glamour Magazine

When I was seventeen, I started getting Glamour wishing that by reading it I’d become cool and beautiful, instead of the mousy loner I was. (It didn’t work, no fault of theirs, but I did become a smarter, stronger woman for being a loyal subscriber these 10+ years.) Anyhoo, my favorite part of the magazine was always the back page, which fellow fashion-mag-ers will know is reserved for the “last look” awesomeness the editorial staff wants to leave readers with. There lay the horoscopes, which always felt particularly true in a way the other aspirational parts of the book didn’t—and maybe their placement was strategic in that sense. Glamour has since transferred this content to online-only, which is a shame because I can’t cut them out anymore and stick them to my fridge like the one I have currently, telling me it’s okay relax and not work so hard all the darn time. (Lightbulb!) They now tend to focus on love/romance, but tell me one aspect of your life doesn’t concern love to some degree and I’ll give you a dollar. Today I click instead of snip, and occasionally take an eco-friendly screenshot whatever’s worthiest of my preservation.

Dr. Jennifer Freed (Goop)

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Leave it to GP to place her readers’ stars in an award-winning uber-expert’s hands. Freed doesn’t write horoscopes per se, but her provocative essays and Q&As allow you to look deep inside your personal situation in a way that feels awfully aligned. One of my favorite recent pieces dove into our self-obssessed culture, reframing narcissism as a wound that needs healing rather than salt-pouring; it was easy for me as a reader to understand how such a behavior and complex might exist, because who hasn’t been wounded by their childhood environment? In her own words, “I am working with people’s essential wisdom and facilitating the awakening of their passionate truths. Through depth astrology people experience a liberation from restrictive beliefs and emotions.” Sign me up.

Who do you look to for astrological guidance? Share your faves and your best horoscopes with #pdastro

 

Also by Jen: It’s Official–Coconut Oil Lost Its Superfood Status. But Why You Should Keep It

How To Wear Leggings Like A Style Icon–Plus 7 Pairs To Go From Yoga To Drinks

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Photo: PexelsThe Cut; Refinery29; LA Times; Facebook; jenniferfreed.com; Jennifer Kurdyla

 

Jennifer Kurdyla

Jennifer Kurdyla

Features Editor at Peaceful Dumpling
Features Editor Jennifer Kurdyla is a New York City girl with Jersey roots and a propensity for getting lost in the urban jungle. An experienced publishing professional, yoga instructor, home chef, sometimes-runner, and writer, she adopted a vegetarian lifestyle in 2008 and became vegan in 2013. She has written for The Harvard Review Online, The Rumpus, and Music & Literature and maintains a wellness-based website, Be Nourished, which features original writing and recipes. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram @jenniferkurdyla, Twitter @jenniferkurdyla, and Pinterest.
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