How I Stopped Being Jealous Of Other Women And Comparing Myself To Them

April 7, 2022

Even though many of us won’t admit feeling it, jealousy is very common and natural, too. It flourishes in an environment of lack of self-love. I have been jealous at other women for most of my life, and am so proud to realize recently that I can look at any woman and not compare myself to her, not be threatened by her “advantages,” and just genuinely appreciate what they got going for them.

It has been a long way getting there, coming from unimaginable levels of insecurity in my childhood. But this is the magical nature of life, where we can transform anything and ourselves into beyond what we can even imagine. Here is how I have transformed my thinking into feeling safe, confident, and appreciative with regards to other women. Let’s look into the most common ideas we get about other women we encounter, and how to counter those with love.

Can I be like this?

Confident, radiant, attractive, charming? Absolutely! Or is this question about some specific features of body and looks? But is that really what it is about?

When we look at other women and admire or are white/black jealous about something they possess, is it about having it? Or is it about the way we expect them to feel and experience and enjoy their lives because of those attributes? I believe that when you want fuller lips or bigger breasts you actually want to be found more attractive by yourself and (or) others. This can be achieved with just you discovering your power and the magnitude of self-love you are capable of.

I would like to note that I believe we should always take good care of ourselves and work on our health and well-being. Loving and accepting yourself to begin with just makes it a lot more natural and easier to treat yourself the way you deserve, in terms of nutrition, lifestyle, activity, and others tools of stepping into bliss.

Prescribing us all self-love

Self-love is a whole lifelong journey, and it takes more effort for some of us: studying its concepts, watching videos and stories of others, following meditations, trying out healing practices, doing self-love exercises like giving yourself compliments every day in front of the mirror. Self-love, self-appreciation, and self-acceptance are the main antidotes to jealousy toward others. If you feel intimidated by other women, dig deeper and explore what obstacles to self-love and embracing all of what you are you still hold.

Appreciate to receive

What we appreciate and compliment in others we welcome into ourselves. Your mind can often mislead you, especially in its jealous state, and try to find reasons why the person is not deserving what they were blessed with. This is how our brain justifies the unfairness we feel, by believing we were deprived of something. Switch your perspective. Open your heart and choose to feel appreciation. You will instantly feel the shift, as it is such a warm, comforting, and liberating feeling, as opposed to the coldness of jealousy, blame, and judgement.

The law of attraction states that whatever we give attention to persists. Jealousy is lack, appreciation is abundance. Connecting to the vibration of appreciation, you are connecting to abundance. And maybe so you are attracting the very thing you value in that other person. You do it through kindness and connection.

“All one” exercise

I also love reminding myself that we are all one, all parts of the whole, the Universe, Source, life itself. From this point of view, she is you, and you are her. So wouldn’t you be happy to see YOU have something nice? We are not originally taught to think this way. Yet we are now, with the collective spiritual growth we are experiencing. You can apply this trick in so many situations. Just see other people as you. You are just fragments of one big wholeness. So you can actually feel their joy and luck, connect to it, and experience and enjoy it in a way. How inspiring and liberating is this? You are welcome!

Can she take something that is mine?

Never. And if she does take something, it never was, or is no longer meant to be yours. Actually, we don’t own anything or anyone in this world, despite popular belief. Sometimes things just flow in and out of their lives. Our job is to trust and know (not just believe) that it is for the better. That it is making space for something beautiful we are meant to experience.

It is so liberating and calming to accept the belief that all that is meant for you to enjoy can never be taken away by someone else.

There is enough of everything for all, and what is ours will be ours. We are not competing for limited resources. The resources and limitless. This is the most profound concept that evaporates jealousy in an instant! Once I have fully realized it and began to live it, life has become so much easier. We, however, need to constantly be reminded of this, as the brain may try to get to its old ways.

Competing for men?

If we talk about competing with other women for men or feeling jealous about other women being around your man, here is the deal. People value such different things, speaking of relationships. We may not even know what golden qualities or aspects we possess for someone else, who would or already is valuing that about us tremendously. When the man loves you, and has an understanding of who he is and what he really wants, he may appreciate other women looks but they can never be compared to what he loves about you. This, however, is about deep strong relationships, and may all of us only settle for this and nothing less!

So, fun fact, you can appreciate the looks or features of those other women as well. Maybe they appreciate some of your qualities silently. Do you know how many other women look at you and wish to have something you have going for you?

All one, all connected, all meant to just love and appreciate each other. Each of us is enough and there is enough for each of us. To each their own. Never competing, only connecting, sharing the energy of joy, sharing the energy of all the various gifts we were given. This is the energy of abundance and gratitude. Let’s be grateful for everything that we are and for everything we inspire each other to be. See everything you like about another as an inspiration for keeping moving, going, growing, expanding, loving, and living more. Much love to all the ladies, and to everyone!

More from Anna: Five Things You Should Never Say To Keep Changing Your Life For The Better

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Photos: APG Graphics, Pixabay via Pexels


Anna Chuzhmarova
Anna is a certified biofield tuning practitioner, Reiki healer and writer. She lives in Amsterdam, is a sunset, moon, water, and life appreciator and enjoys time with her loved ones, studying spirituality and healing techniques, sports, yoga, dancing, and self-care. She is passionate about helping others discover the infinite power and love within them and live their best lives. Her Instagram account is @tuningtolove.


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